Proshloye & Budushcheye
by Canthre
Summary: *written for Saint Seiya SeSa 2013* In Underworld's cold darkness memories haunt Hyoga's mind. But past is all done, and only future lays ahead.


A/N I was never really sure what to think about this story. It kind of just... came out. I loved writing about Hyoga's angst, I even realized I might write about the Camus/Isaac/Hyoga trio one day, because it's so wonderfully depressing... Yeah. Maybe.

Disclaimer Not mine, not mine, but I wish it was otherwise.

* * *

**Proshloye &amp; Budushcheye**

_Darkness. Silence. _

_Sudden glimmer, deafening screams of the dead. _

Travelling through the Underworld was weighting the two Bronze Saints down. Ubiquitous darkness choked them like smoke, silence was piercing, but the bloody glow was worse. And eternal lamentation from the damned – and there was so many of them, oh Athena! – pierced them at every step.

Shiryu seemed almost unmoved by their suffering, simply going on and never looking back. Hyoga wished he could do the same, but every skeleton figure seemed to draw his attention. He pitied them at first, but then the only thing that remained in his mind was fear. Strangling fear of joining this mournful parade one day.

Fear of whom he might meet in this parade. He hated himself for this weakness, as it seemed to gnaw at his mind more than his mission. And he was one of Athena's Saints, what use would the goddess have of such a cowardly warrior? One that couldn't bare with world's most fundamental laws? Death was unavoidable, after all.

"Aaargh!" a sudden cry wakes Hyoga from musing, and he reacts immediately.

"DIAMOND DUST!"

A storm of ice crystals covers Hyoga's view for a moment, but after a second it's gone and he could finally see a pitiful skeleton figure dissipating to cold Underworld soil. Another seconds passes and there is nothing in front of him but a speck of melting snow.

"Hyoga?" Shiryu worried voice reached Cygnus Saint from a great distance. Hyoga looked up, and indeed – his friend was way ahead of him.

"Are you alright?" Hyoga sighed at this.

_No. _

"Yes. Sorry for this stop, Shiryu." the Dragon Saint broke a little smile at this, yet remaining composed and aloof.

"Not a reassuring view, isn't it?" for a moment Hyoga envied this composure, but shrugged it off, and walked up to his comrade.

"Yeah. It bothers me more than it should." he regretted his words the moment they left his lips. Shiryu seemed startled, but instead of saying anything had only put a hand on Hyoga's shoulder.

"It's going to be alright. We'll save Athena… And we'll find the rest." the Dragon Saint smiles yet again. "Bet that Seiya lost his way here?"

Hyoga couldn't hold the laugh down.

"Bet." he shook his head, and added. "Let's go!"

They ran ahead in companionable silence.

* * *

_Hyoga clutched tightly to his biggest treasure as they hauled him on a ship heading to Siberia. All other boys have already left – maybe outside Ikki, but the older boy disappeared yesterday evening, and Hyoga didn't know what happened with him at all. No one paid any attention to him here, so the boy snuggled in some rags between two big chests and watched loading. The ship rocked and creaked gently around him, as if whispering promises to him. He didn't trust it, though. Hyoga liked ships – liked ocean, loved the salty taste on his lips and cold breeze on his cheeks – but he couldn't trust them. Last time he did his mother died. _

_Boy clutched the cross and mouthed a silent prayer to the dead. Could mother hear him? Will she answer him? He was going to find her! Become stronger! _

"_Hey, kid!" one of seamen shouted at him. "Move, the cargo's comin'!" _

_Hyoga jumped to his feet and ran to another corner. The air was getting thicker with some unpleasant smell, and it made him cringe his nose. Looking around he found door leading deeper into the ship, and as nobody stopped him he decided to search for some place to sleep. The door creaked a little, and the corridor behind them was dark, but at least it was warm there. He tripped once or twice in the darkness but made it to another door and found the handle. For a moment Hyoga feared the door were locked, but fortunately the handle turned under his hand. Faint light came through the opening, steady and inviting, and he quickly recognized it coming from an old fashioned kerosene lamp. The room was small, filled with unused stuff, from old nets to beer-stained mattress, but Hyoga couldn't care less – over last few months he learned to take from life what it gave, and never complain. And actually, the mattress proved itself to be quite comfortable. _

_Just before sleep claimed him the difference between this journey and the one he took with his mother struck him vividly. He took a deep breath, exhaled, and decided the difference was a good sign, really. It meant he already was stronger. _

_Right?_

* * *

"I only hope the guys are doing fine as well." Hyoga murmured while watching a bloody waterfall from a great distance. He blinked and dense fog covered his vision, leaving him with a sigh of dull dark hills, with nothing to mark them. Beside him Shiryu stretched his arms up, then his back, and then massaged his neck a little. It seemed as if they were running in circles here, with almost all of the scenery looking the same – monotone and gloomy. A feeling of being permanently watched haven't left Hyoga since the moment he entered the Underworld. Once again, he twitched nervously and looked behind, and once again found nothing – or no one.

"This place sure is big. I just hope we won't lose the way." said the Dragon Saint. After a moment he added. "We should be moving now. The more I watch this landscape, the more it chills me." Hyoga sighed inwardly at this.

"So I'm not the only one having chills here, huh? Good to know, I was scared my own techniques were getting to me!"

"Would serve you right, Cygnus, would serve you right." a quiet laugh escaped Shiryu. "I guess -" A sudden rumble interrupted his words, sending them both into battle positions.

Another, even louder crash followed the previous one, and this time ground shook. The two warriors exchanged quick glances – while they felt the reverberations from the earth itself there was no hostile Cosmo around them. Frankly, they haven't felt Cosmo flaring since their battle with Phlegyas. Shiryu looked thoughtful for a while, and looked back the way they came.

"It could have come from the Third Prison…"

"The rocks of the greedy? Yeah, but this was so loud. Too loud."

"Do you have any idea what's waiting for us here?" Shiryu glanced at his friend.

"The Fifth Prison? Heretics, I think." Hyoga wasn't certain about this. "Haven't the Old Master tell you anything about the prisons? Maybe there's something more here to attack us beside the Specters."

Shiryu shook his head.

"No, aside from Hades' hellhounds and Specters we can only get attacked by the damned, but they aren't all that much of a threat." he wondered about something for a moment. "I do remember him saying something about graves, though…"

"Graves, huh?"

Another crash shook the ground, but this time they felt a tiniest flicker of Cosmo, though. Dark energy emanated from behind a hill in front of them, growing stronger as it appeared to be coming their way. The fog sweeping over the ground shifted, and cleared a little unveiling a small path leading towards a stone arch at the top of the hill.

"The Fifth Prison and it's guardians." Hyoga nodded to this, and added.

"Let's go find them before to come here!"

And once again they ran ahead.

* * *

_Hyoga's new homeland was cold and impenetrable. Siberia's soil was mostly barren, covered in eternal ice and snow, and he couldn't remember the last time he woke without a remnant of night's storm calming behind the windows. The sky was perpetually misty, landscape perpetually white, and the small house seemed to reflect this as well. Especially the bedrooms, stuck between the woodshed and pantry, was damp and murky. But master Camus, and Hyoga's fellow student Isaac, didn't seemed to mind this conditions, coping well with the cold, and Hyoga would hate to fail them. Days went by, and as their little group fell into a routine of work he learned to not mind the cold as well. _

_Meeting Isaac was kind of a shock for Hyoga. The older boy was everything he strived to be – confident, calm and strong. Finnish boy seemed to be perfect for the role of the Saint already. Hyoga clenched his fists, as he watched Isaac train under their master's scrutinizing eyes. Isaac completed another set of moves with a strong punch into the air, straightened and looked at master Camus. Their teacher was a strange man, admirable to both boys, hard to understand and even harder to please, but this time he nodded in appreciation. Isaac beamed a little. _

"_Your turn, Hyoga." Camus haven't even bothered to look his way. Isaac gave him an encouraging smile. _

"_It's going to be okay." Hyoga smiled weakly back at the older boy's words. He tried to relax his body to perform properly, but nervousness seemed to overpowered him. The beginning moves were pretty easy, allowing him to concentrate on the body flow, going through one pose to another in slow, steady movements…_

… _A sudden gust of wind pierced through him with thousands of little needles. Hyoga lost balance, and when he struggled to remain in the perfect position legs betrayed him and the boy fell to his knees. He inhaled deeply while his shivering palms dug into the snow. Each and every part of him was shivering, quivering uncontrollably. A dark feeling clenched his guts, but he looked up nevertheless._

"_Master, I can do it better -" Camus' words cut through air better than any wind. _

"_No. You need to control your body better." his master's words were painful, but Hyoga feared the gaze accompanying them even more. _

"_I will." the boy doubted anyone had heard those small words. Quiet crunching of snow told him that master Camus was already leaving, and Hyoga had to fight against tears. Shame filled him, a cold feeling of never being good enough to succeed. _

_A sudden warm touch brought him back from reverie. Hyoga looked up and saw Isaac kneeling beside him, with a soft smile on his lips. _

"_Don't worry. You'll get better."_

* * *

For a short while burst of Cosmo blinded two warriors, but the light was gone soon after, revealing a large pit in the ground and ashen mist floating in the air. Hyoga tensed, sensing a great Cosmo approaching.

"Another bunch of Specters." Shiryu murmured from his right. "And it's not the regular ones."

"Should we fight too?" Hyoga murmured back, looking at Kanon, who just stood there calmly, right in the middle of field as if nothing has just happened – and is if nothing was going to happen any time soon. Cygnus Saint would never admit that out loud, but he envied this aura the older warrior emanated – composed, confident and powerful.

_Just like Isaac back then. Just like I want to be. _

"I think he wants to fight alone." the Gold Saint never moved, bothered neither by them nor by approaching enemies.

"Then we should go, Shiryu. Time's running out, and we are nowhere near Hades' Palace." Hyoga nodded at his friend, and turned to where he knew the Sixth Prison had to be. As he ran beside Shiryu he wanted to look back, to see the beginning of the upcoming battle, but managed to restrain himself.

_I guess we all want to prove ourselves here. _

The path they followed was hard, but they couldn't exit it, right? For strength. For honor. For the world. Hyoga swallowed hard, and concentrated on their goal once again.

_Run, fight, win. Run, fight, win._

The rocky ground changed a little, lost the bloody color and became more ashy. Eerie glow that surrounded the Fifth Prison dimmed, and from the everlasting mist a large wall emerged before the two Saints. Explosions from the battle behind them subsided softly, leaving them in silence as nothing seemed present in the area in front of them.

"And what is this? Doesn't look like a building, does it?"

"Hm." Shiryu walked slowly at the wall and tapped it a little. A small trail of sand fell from under his fingers. The Dragon Saint looked up, and said. "Seems to me that it doesn't have ceiling."

"Should we climb up, then?"

"We could try breaking it." Hyoga gritted his teeth at this, and readied himself to strike, but at the same moment the mist shifted and he saw a dark opening to their left. "Wait, Shiryu! Entry's there!"

"Well, I can definitely say I've seen more inviting entrances." Shiryu commented dryly, looking into the gloomy corridor.

"Nothing really looks inviting here." Hyoga muttered, thinking about the monotonous darkness, unending torture, and those eyes, those imaginary eyes that seemed to follow him and wordlessly told him to _remember. _

Maybe it was the premonition of his torture. Maybe he'll be damned to spend all eternity on remembering, and weeping.

"Let's go." his voice came even hoarser than he expected.

As high walls closed around them the echo of their steps – and sharp intakes of their breath – was the only sound they heard. The mist disappeared, leaving the Saints in surprisingly dry and warm darkness covering them like a blanket. Soon even the eerie light that seemed to never went out in the Underworld became a memory in tight corridor. The universe was build from grey stone in here.

After what seemed to be a minute, but could have been already an hour, they came upon crossroads.

"It's a labyrinth."

What is the most important thing while inside the Labyrinth? Never lose the way? Never lose yourself.

* * *

"_I won't fail! I'll make it there!" _

"_Stop being so selfish, Hyoga!" _

"_I promised to come back! You just don't understand! I want to be strong for her…" _

"_No. I think you really don't understand what strength means."_

* * *

Right, left, left, right again. They ran ahead, shoulder to shoulder, breaths appointing a steady rhythm. As time passed darkness gradually became Hyoga's one and only companion. It wasn't only around him, but also inside him.

* * *

_Storm attacked the shutters, and Hyoga shivered. Hours had passed since he curled into a tight ball beside his bed. The sheets were disheveled, spilled over the floor. Isaac would have scolded him, told him to tidy the room up, but Isaac wasn't here anymore, right? He was gone, and he was never coming back. Just like mother. _

_Years had passed since Hyoga hardened himself against cold. Weather couldn't bother him, and yet today he was shivering. _

_He felt cold. He felt weak._

* * *

Left, left, right. Were they going in circles? Was someone watching them, following them? The world disappeared, the Underworld disappeared. Was he in the past again? Maybe, but from time to time Hyoga fought against darkness filling him to ensure himself that Shiryu haven't disappeared too.

* * *

_Isaac? _

_His friend was warm. Hyoga remembered smiles the older boy gave him when they were needed. Encouraging words, that never left Camus' lips, came from Isaac. In hindsight, Hyoga realized that they were quite happy back there in Siberia. A little family. _

_The man that stood before him now wasn't warm at all._

* * *

Right, left, right, left. Hyoga started to feel sick. He had enough of memories, enough doubts. Was he strong? Did he succeed? After all those trainings he reached his mother's ship, so he had to be strong, right? Isaac forgave him after their fight.

* * *

"_Someone's behind Poseidon, Hyoga. Be careful…"_

_Words betrayed Isaac, and as the light faded in his eyes Hyoga wondered if his friend will find peace at last. With all his heart he hoped he will and it was he could hope for. _

_Was this how his life was supposed to look like? With everyone sacrificing themselves for him? Mother. Isaac. Master. _

_Isaac was the one that died, but Hyoga felt like he was the one that lost._

* * *

"Hyoga!"

_Was he strong? Propably not._

"Hyoga!"

_But he had to fight. He had to at least try. For mother. For Isaac. For master Camus. _

"Hyoga!"

_In the end, maybe he'll find peace for himself too. _

"Hyoga! Wake up, dammit!" this time a slap on his cheek seemed to bring him back from ghosts. Hyoga blinked. Darkness surrounded him still, but somehow he could see through it – every next corner, every crack on the walls. A hand on his shoulder felt almost like an anchor.

"I thought you were gone for good, Hyoga." he could tell Shiryu's worry. "Are you alright now?" the Cygnus Saint inhaled deeply, but when he spoke his voice was calm.

"I think I am." after a thought he added. "But I almost lost."

Shiryu nodded and patted him once again on the shoulder.

"We made it, though. Look!" he pointed to faint glimmer coming from behind next corner. It took Hyoga a good second to realize they came to the exit from the Labyrinth.

"Yes." he thought of Isaac and everyone else he had loved. "We made it."

Underworld's aura seemed to became lighter to bear now. There was a bitter feeling in Hyoga's heart, an echo of grief, resembling the needles of Siberian winds. He guessed it wasn't ever going to disappear, but it wasn't weighting on him anymore. Maybe he couldn't escape remembering, but he could overcome guilt.

"So we came to River Lethe." Shiryu's voice broke the peaceful silence of fields they arrived to.

Amongst neverending flowerbed of asphodels the dead lined towards riverside. Unlike the damned they saw until now those ghosts were calm, almost… hopeful. The river's waters were silvery, like liquid moonlight filling spirits with new strenght. Relieving them from the past.

"They'll head on towards future now." Hyoga whispered almost to himself.

"Yes."

_It'd be easier to just forget. _

"Do you think it's the right way to let go?" Shiryu was preparing the leave already, but for Hyoga leaving meant choosing.

"It is the right way for them." his friend looked at him with surprisingly gentle face. "But we… We have to forge our own paths until we come upon a new start."

_It'd be easier to forget, but it's right to remember. To learn. To build on ashes._

"Let's go." Hyoga glanced upon the river for the last time, and turned towards their final destination.

After a few steps he stopped again, but haven't looked back.

"I guess this is what strength is about."

_I'll build my future on my past. _

_Another ghost came upon the River Lethe. The smell drifting over the waters was already soothing its memory, and as it raised hands filled with liquid moonlight towards its lips last whispers of names drifted with the current. _

_Past and Future._

**FIN**


End file.
